“I am on a drug it’s called Charlie Sheen.”- Charlie Sheen
I’m sure you’re on many other things Charlie. Let me just step back for a moment are you calling yourself a drug? You’re saying you’re getting high off of yourself, how is that possible? Are no red flags going up in your head when you can get high off of yourself? You might want to go to the hospital or a chemistry lab because believe me some crazy shit is going on.
“ I got tiger blood, man. Dying's for fools, dying's for amateurs."
Charlie Sheen, you are the dumbest guy in Hollywood you were making $2,000,000 an episode on Two and a Half Men then you inject tiger blood into your system. You are crazy; crazier than me and that is quite the accomplishment.
"I'm tired of pretending I'm not a total bitchin' rock star from Mars, and people can't figure me out; they can't process me. I don't expect them to. You can't process me with a normal brain."
I thought you were an actor, but now apparently you’re a rock star from mars. If you were really born on Mars that would just make so much more sense. You’re right the normal brain cannot process you it looks like I’m going to have to drink some tiger blood to make sense out of you. So if you could recommend a place to pick some up that would be great.
"I tried marriage. I'm 0 for 3 with the marriage thing. So, being a ballplayer -- I believe in numbers. I'm not going 0 for 4. I'm not wearing a golden sombrero."
Golden sombrero? Where the hell did you get married?
“Uhh… Winning!”
How are you still alive? You know what I’m expecting to hear on the news shortly is that you fell off a cliff. Not jumping or being pushed off, just falling because you are that stupid.
“I've always been pretty old-fashioned. I'm kind of a missionary guy.”
No, not really.
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