10. The Letter “M”
All months that begin with the letter “M” are created by the devil. Look it up, science supports it.
9. Leprechauns
I hate little creepy hands which is one reason why I hate children. They are so tiny and I feel like they will pickpocket me.
8. Parties
March means St. Patrick’s Day which means parties. St. Patrick’s Day parties means that all my neighbors will be loud and having fun. I hate it when other people are having fun, it gives me a headache.
7. The Color Green
All colors that aren’t gray are hideous and should be banned from the world. People shouldn’t be allowed to wear colors; they can’t be trusted with that responsibility.
6. It’s Almost Spring
That means no more snow, which means people not spinning out on icy roads or complaining about the cold weather. I just love human misery.
5. Leprechauns…again
They are so small and creepy. They remind me of an Irish Snooki.
4. My Birthday isn’t in March.
I don’t get free stuff this month, I see a problem.
3. March Madness
I don’t even know what March Madness is, but it sounds stupid. I hate stupid things.
2. Ugly Drunk People
Where ever I go I find a bunch of ugly drunk people. I hate ugly people. I hate drunk people because I’m jealous that I’m not drunk. Get your calculator out and do the math.
1. Gingers
I see way too many gingers every year during March. I hate gingers they have no souls because that’s how God wanted it to be.
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